News - Ocho Cinco 2.0 - Cincinnati Bengals

OCHO LOCO: Taking matters to a degree that Ted Turner and Andy Messersmith never considered, Bengals WR Chad Johnson (#85) has legally changed his name to Chad Ocho Cinco.

STOP. THE LOVE YOU SAVE MAY BE YOUR OWN: Some day, though probably not until after his death, an appropriate biography will be written detailing the truth of the tragic life of Michael Jackson, an entertainer once of extraordinary talent but for whom "messed up" doesn't even begin to describe what his upbringing did to him, or what he is generally believed as having done to child victims (or his face).

Well, he turned fifty years old yesterday (as have Madonna and Prince this year), and to the extent that you can view his work without the knowledge of all that has happened since, this 1975 footage from the Carol Burnett Show of Michael with his brothers (and a surprise guest) or an "I Want You Back"/"ABC" from 1977 may still provide a smile.

BEFORE THE LEAVES CHANGE:Monday marks the beginning of one of ALOTT5MA's favorite times of the year--the fall television season (though I suppose last Monday's debut of America's Toughest, Yet Somehow, Not That Interesting Jobs marked a pre-season game). It's a little strange this year, with "fall" debuts stretching from Monday (season premieres for Gossip Girl and One Tree Hill) all the way through October 22, when Stylista debuts on the CW. So, what are you looking forward to among new shows (Fringe, The Ex List, and maybe Life on Mars and My Own Worst Enemy are about it for me, though I will give 90210 a shot)? And more importantly, start thinking now for the annual cancellation pool, which promises to be tough--there's no Viva Laughlin level debacle apparent from the networks' fairly limited list of programs, and recent years of CBS's success on Monday (HIMYM excluded) demonstrates that even crappy sitcoms find love.

LIVE FROM NEW YORK, I'M WEARING A SHIRT! Michael Phelps to host SNL season-opener in two weeks; your skit suggestions are welcome.

BABY YOU CAN WEAR MY CAR: We've been watching other things this week, but did managed to take in the Project Runway recycle-a-Saturn challenge last night as a sort of nightcap. I've no deep insights (ha) or strong opinions to share this week. Only even managed to hate on Suede ever so briefly; glad Stella will live to sew another day; etc.

ALOTT5MA JEOPARDY: Things that Belong to KCosmo's Regular Beat for $400. Your answer is:

Olympic sport, small New England city, deciduous tree, Scottish musician, branch of mathematics.

IN THE ALIEN LIGHT OF THE SPACESHIP OF LOVE: Apparently, the problem for David Duchovny is not having too many girls ask "why won't you love me?" Indeed, apparently, it's quite the opposite.