HOUSE OF PAIN: OK, when Alan Ball, Carter Bays, Marc Cherry, Tina Fey, Larry Gelbart, Marti Noxon, Shonda Rhimes, Amy Sherman-Palladino, Matthew Weiner, and Larry Wilmore all tell you you're making an inappropriate writing management decision, might you want to listen, Tyler Perry? (Related--does anyone want to see Perry's threatened Obama biopic?)

IN THE BLINK OF AN EYE: Although "movie about patent law starring Lauren Graham" may sound like it was cooked up in one of the conference rooms of ALOTT5MA Plaza, Flash of Genius was not created by us. Points are awarded for giving the story a more or less truthful ending, and not an artificially happy one. (No spoilers here, though the New Yorker story on which the film is based is online.) Yes, it's a little too long for the average viewer (though folks with patent knowledge will probably find much to nitpick), and makes Kearns and his cause far more sympathetic than the original article paints him to be, but it's still a fine film.

AWRIGHT AWRIGHT AWRIGHT: I'm all for the proliferation of e-commerce sites, but an e-commerce site run by Matthew McConaughey seems like something we didn't need. (Yes, they do sell hemp products.)

I'D SAY IT MAKES ME LESS LIKELY TO SEE THE MOVIE, BUT MULTIPLYING A PERCENTAGE BY ZERO LEAVES ZERO: Apparently, it's pronounced ro-DAN-thee, not RO-danth as I had thought, and the Wiki page gives away all the suck for those interested.

So, what's your expected cultural consumption for this weekend? I'd like to see Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist, but between a trip to NYC tomorrow to visit my new nephew and Sunday's Philadelphia Eagles-Potomac Drainage Basin Indigenous Persons game, I'm not going to have any movie time, so it's more likely that Jen and I just continue our run through the Mad Men DVD instead.

ACTUALLY, YOU CAN STOP THE BEAT: Broadway's Hairspray will close in January 2009, after welcoming back Harvey Fierstein for a return engagement as Edna. Scientific studies on the following issues remain ongoing:

• Whether one can stop an avalanche as it races down a hill.
• Whether one can stop the motion of the ocean or the sun in the sky.
• Whether one can stop a river as it rushes to the sea.
• Whether one can stop the hands of time.
  

I'VE FOUND THE SIMPLE LIFE JUST AIN'T SO SIMPLE: Have you ever wondered what classic Van Halen would sound like if you silenced all of the annoying Van Halens (and Michael Anthony)? So much better than you imagined. Ah huh. AAAAAAAAA ya. Gadamababyaknowiainlyintoyuhimonlygonnatelyuhonemotime [whistle].

Sorry, lost control there for a sec.

I STILL WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO GOTO DENGO: Neil Neal Stephenson's Anathem came out a few weeks ago. I haven't read it yet (I thought it was due in November), so I can't tell you much about it except that it is awesome. How do I know? Because Neil Stephenson wrote it.

I think I can think of only two brands that can do no wrong: Pixar and Neil Neal Stephenson. Am I missing anything?