RETIREMENT FINDS NO REFUGE IN A JURISPRUDENCE OF DOUBT: It's a news item with almost no pop culture hook; I just think it's cool that retired Justice Sandra Day O'Connor is still riding circuit and will sit for two days of oral argument in Philadelphia this week.

Welcome to Philadelphia, "Weasel" Wyzell.

WHEN THE SECOND LIFE ECLIPSES THE FIRST: So if I'm reading this correctly, a couple who got married both in real life and in the virtual world known as Second Life are getting divorced because the real life husband's virtual alter ego was having sex with a virtual prostitute. (Gotta watch out for those virtual STDs, you know.)

I guess if you met your spouse online, you might have heightened sensitivity to the notion that he or she might meet someone else online, but is virtual sex (which gives something of a new twist to Little Sloan and Little Grey, no?) actually a higher crime than just sitting around chatting in a chat room? If I'm reading between the lines correctly, this excuse has "pretext" written all over it (especially because the soon to be ex-Mrs. Second Life has a new World-of-Warcraft-based beau), but maybe I'm wrong. Experts, please enlighten me.

MY DARKEST SPORTS YEAR GETS EVEN DARKER: If there were justice in the world, any justice at all, Joe Morgan would not have outlasted Fire Joe Morgan.

IT'S BIG SLOAN: Touch me, I'm real? Seriously? Seriously?? And we were doing so well this season, too. Any theories that do not involve either water skis or, as I'm told but never personally witnessed, a refrigerator?

In minor silver lining news, the dye job on Melissa George's eyebrows is less heinous than it was five years ago. And the Sloan/Torres friendship is perhaps the most genuine thing going at the moment. But oh man, "touch me I'm real" isn't even consistent with when Meredith died but didn't die because she had the chance to talk with untouchably dead Denny and Coach Taylor for a while.

Latest Marvel - Packages That Open Without a Saw - NYTimes.com

HE GOT THE PACKAGE, ROSIE: Amazon, Best Buy and other retailers are launching a new initiative: how about packaging for toys and electronics that doesn't require a knife, a wire cutter and a blow torch to open? Welcome to the world of "frustration-free packaging".

BECAUSE WE DON'T HAVE ENOUGH PROCEDURALS: ABC announced its midseason schedule this afternoon, and a few surprises and dismaying moments:

• Pushing Daisies and Dirty Sexy Money are both off the schedule, and will not run beyond 13 episodes this season, though allegedly could be renewed for third seasons (though I wouldn't count on it). Life On Mars is also not on the schedule.
• Neither Nathan Fillion project Castle nor Cupid made the schedule.
• Eli Stone stays Tuesday at 10, somewhat to my surprise, though with a weak According to Jim leadin.
  
• Wednesday is completely reworked--Scrubs at 8, Mike Judge animated project The Goode Family at 8:30, Lost at 9, and quirky procedural The Unusuals at 10 (Amber Tamblyn, Adam Goldberg, and Harold Perrineau lead the cast).
• Private Practice moves to right after Grey's, and a massive crossover is planned for sweeps.
  

HOT TRANNY PIZZA MESS: 24 Prince, the (pretty darn good) neighborhood restaurant operated by Top Chef: Chicago contestant Nikki Cascone is doing "Celebrity Pizza Nights" on Sundays. This week's special celebrity pizza designer? Christian Siriano. Not quite sure how you work fierce ruffles into a pizza, but if anyone can, I'm sure he will.