THIS BITES AND SUCKS: I'm sure that it's the product of market analysis demonstrating that these covers sell better than others, but this marked EW cover 4 for Twilight in the past 12 months, plus at least 2 other covers referencing Twilight prominently. I mean, in a week where you could have done an Oscar cover, a He's Just Not That Into You, Friday The 13th, or Confessions of a Shopaholic cover, why on earth devote not just the cover, but 8 pages of a 76 page issue (more than 10%, and probably closer to 25% if you count editorial content only, excluding ads), to a movie that's basically completed its theatrical run (it moved to second run theatres this weekend), and which isn't due on DVD for a while?

WHAT IF THEY DIDN'T? Like Alan, I'm still not completely sold on Dollhouse's fusion of Alias and My Own Worst Enemy, at least in part because I haven't bought the "Eliza Dushku is a Great Actress" theory--part of what made Alias work so well is that you could equally buy Garner as a club girl and a dorky cover identity, while Dushku's "I wear a bun and glasses and speak in clipped tones, so must be smart" doesn't really sell it. Also, I watch Whedon shows in part for the funny. Despite bits of comic relief, this was pretty unrelentingly dark. That said, Firefly took a few episodes to find its footing, and Buffy was scattershot for its first season, and there are a good number of interesting questions--who is/was Echo and how did she get into the Dollhouse, in particular. Whedon's earned enough goodwill that it'll get a few more episodes.

NO FIGHT LEFT, OR SO IT SEEMS: The good news, via Nikki Finke -- the performances of Oscar-nominated songs have been reduced to a single ~5 minute medley, rather than 20+ minutes of Ain True Boredom interspersed throughout the proceedings.

The bad news, I suppose, is that Peter Gabriel's no longer interested in performing his WALL-E song, as he explained via letter: "[I]n recent discussions with the Producers, it became clear that despite there being only three nominees, only 60-65 seconds was being offered, and that was also in a medley of the three songs. I don't feel that is sufficient time to do the song justice, and have decided to withdraw from performing."

Respectfully, I doubt we're missing much -- I'll give you two memorable performances of nominated songs in the past decade, and that's about it: Dylan, "Things Have Changed"; and a jaunty little number by R. Williams & Company. (Okay, the Dylan performance isn't that good; I just wanted an excuse to link to this Barb Jungr cover of same.)

e.t.a. A third suggested by Mr. Fienberg: Elliott Smith, "Miss Misery".

IF YOU'RE A CREEP, YEAH, YOU'RE A JERK, PRESS 1. IF YOU HAVE A NEW COMPLAINT FOREVER IN DEBT TO OUR PRICELESS ADVICE, PRESS 2. IF CLEARLY YOU REMEMBER PICKING ON THE BOY, PRESS 3. IF YOUR EYES NEED TO BE FED AND SEWN SHUT, PRESS 4. IF THIS IS YOUR KIND OF LOVE, PRESS 5. IF YOU'RE GOING TO EAT A LOT OF PEACHES, PRESS 6. IF THIS IS FACT NOT FICTION FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YEARS, PRESS 7. TO KISS THE SKY, PRESS 8. IF YOU'RE FEELING MINNESOTA, PLEASE HANG UP AND TRY YOUR CALL AGAIN: Something I learned flitting around on the web after reading Bob's post on Muzak: If you call the City of Seattle and are put on hold, rather than smooth jazz or Vivaldi, you get a selection of independent local artists. It looks like a pretty eclectic mix too, assuming that Choklate and Recess Monkey haven't incorporated "Quintet for Clarinet & Strings in A Major, K. 581, Allegro" and "Snijeg Pade Na Behar Na Voce" in their live shows. What a great idea.

WHO ARE EIGHT PEOPLE THAT HAVE NEVER BEEN IN MY KITCHEN? What distinction do the following eight people share?

• Henry Kissinger
• Bob Hope
• Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
• Whoopi Goldberg
• Nelson Mandela
• Jackie Joyner-Kersee
• Jesse Jackson
• Karol Wojtyla

Answer here.

YOUR MOTHER I CAN UNDERSTAND, BUT SINCE WHEN ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO TELL YOUR EX-FIANCEE WHEN YOU'RE BACK IN TOWN? Since, as some of you have noticed, we haven't done a Grey's Anatomy post in a while (probably due, at least in part, to its conflict with The Office and 30 Rock and its entrenchment as a DVR show), I'll throw this up with three half-baked thoughts:

• Bringing Addison back and surrounding Derek with old friends only highlights how mopey everybody usually is. This show is really manic depressive (usually depressive) -- either there's angsty self-destruction or there's spastic dancing and gleeful consensual body mutilation. The pre-dancing bar scene, with people just having low-key playful conversations, is kind of the meat of a good life -- can't anybody get that on a regular basis at Seattle Grace?
• Dr. Sloan, maybe for that very reason, is the best thing about the show right now. His delivery of the whole appropriately professional congratulations to Lexie, followed by blurting things out about Derek and Meredith, was the high point of the episode. And Eric Danes has surprisingly good chemistry with the much younger (seeming?) Chyler Leigh.
• How many times will Karev have to reluctantly diagnose a girlfriend with a mental illness? If every girl that loves you is literally insane, what does that say about you? I kind of hope he gets a crazy girlfriend every season.

ON JEOPARDY THE ANSWER MIGHT BE 75 BEATLES TUNES, 324 LED ZEPPELIN SONGS, AND 984 MILES DAVIS RECORDINGS: The question, contrary to popular expectations, would be "what are some of the songs played on Muzak?" The company, long associated with elevator music, sought bankruptcy protection on Tuesday.

Wikipedia provides a reasonably comprehensive history of the company. Far more interesting is a New Yorker profile of what the company actually does these days, which might best be described as enhancing the retail experience for customers. Dana McKelvey, a Muzak programmer, is quoted in the article:

"Take Armani Exchange. Shoppers there are looking for clothes that are hip and chic and cool. They're twenty-five to thirty-five years old, and they want something to wear to a party or a club, and as they shop they want to feel like they're already there. So you make the store sound like the coolest bar in town. You think about that when you pick the songs, and you pay special attention to the sequencing, and then you cross-fade and beat-match and never break the momentum, because you want the program to sound like a d.j.'s mix."

I gather that the company has been losing money for a number of years. Although it does plan to continue operations, Muzak's bankruptcy filing listed liabilities in excess of $370 million and assets of just $50,000, not an appealing ratio by any means.

From time to time I patronize a small food coop in Swarthmore. I have no idea if its sound system is by Muzak, but every time I shop there I hear a song that reminds me of an ex-girlfriend. The experience is a pleasant trip down memory lane, but I don't believe I buy more food simply because I might happen to hear Everything But the Girl perform a song that once meant the world to me.