FOR US, PERHAPS, THIS IS IT: For everything we've said about the weirdness, sadness and likely criminal behavior of Michael Jackson, I've never seen an anecdote which made him seem normal (while still embedded within a dollop of weird) like the story AEG Live President Randy Phillips tells in this week's Entertainment Weekly cover story about an additional special effect Jackson wanted added to the London concerts:

We went and met with Michael, and [director Kenny Ortega] said, "Michael, you've got to stop. We've got an incredible show, we don't need any more vignettes." Michael said, "But Kenny, God channels this through me at night. I can't sleep because I'm so super-charged." Kenny said, "But Michael, we have to finish. Can't God take a vacation?" Without missing a beat, Michael said, "You don't understand -- if I'm not there to receive these ideas, God might give them to Prince."

WHOEVER WANTS TO KNOW THE HEART AND MIND OF AMERICA HAD BETTER LEARN POKER: James McManus, author of the much-loved Positively Fifth Street, has something to say about poker in academia and American history. It's an excerpt from his next book, Cowboys Full: The Story of Poker, due at month's end.

YouTube - Kareem Embarrassed On Jeopardy

JOEY'S DAD WAS RIGHT. YOU CALL THIS TRYING? Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Celebrity Jeopardy! contestant, lays a brick.

YES, THEY HAD BALLPOINT PENS IN 1960: Not as boozy as the Slate piece on ladies who drink their lunch, but here's a great interview with the Mad Men prop master. Interesting stuff.

(hat tip to tvtattle)

THE POST-LUNCH STUPOR: Slate's Double X does an experiment--what if the women who make up the Double X staff drank, during the day, as much as characters from Mad Men do? There's video, including a debate as to whether vomiting or wetting your pants is more inappropriate. Suffice it to say that this did not turn Hanna Rosin and Emily Bazelon into Joan Holloways.

THERE'S ALSO A CLAIM FOR VIOLATION OF THE DOUCHEBAG CONTROL ACT: Apparently, TLC is suing Jon Gosselin for having breached his exclusive contract with them. Please suggest other reality show participants who need to be sued.

YET ANOTHER INSTALLMENT OF MY OCCASIONAL, INFERIOR ATTEMPTS TO RESURRECT NEWSQUIZ: Last time, commuter Anne Marciano had said "I've never been a fan of numbers, but I'll give it a try," and while your suggestions included "Consecrating Levites for Temple Service" and "explaining credit default swaps," the actual "it" (and, oops, I forgot to say this back then) was that puzzlemaster Will Shortz was on her Septa train handing out Sudoku challenges to promote the impending national championships.

Okay, let's try again. Testifying in court on Wednesday, 67-year-old Atlantic City councilman and Baptist minister Eugene Robinson explained:

At first I kept saying, No, no, no. But then I thought, If you send a tourist away angry, they'll tell people not to come to Atlantic City. I don't think she would have been able to convince me if I wasn't so tired.

Convince him to do what, gang? As always, your funniest and least accurate responses are welcome.

updated: And the actual answer is, well, Robinson was the intended victim of a blackmail plot in which he reenacted the first verse of Leonard Cohen's "Chelsea Hotel No. 2".