LORD KNOWS WHAT BLUEBOOK RULE GOVERNS THIS SITUATION: In our continuing occasional series "Things I Learn From My Free Subscription to Watch! The CBS Magazine," a style point worthy of Fake AP Stylebook--both LL COOL J and NCIS: LOS ANGELES are ultra-proper nouns, requiring each and every letter be capitalized. (Oddly, CSI: Crime Scene Investigation is not.)

THIS IS A WORD THAT HAS EVOLVED IN THE LAST COUPLE OF YEARS -- A THING THAT SOUNDS LIKE A THING YOU CAN'T SAY: Now more than ever, primetime television is douchetastic.

added: SNL, May 24, 1980. "Give me a Sandwich and a Douchebag, and there's nothing I cannot do."

WE LOOK FOR FILMS WITH THE LINE 'SECURE THE PERIMETER': Yes, I could spend hours just reading Carl Reiner and Mel Brooks talking to each other.

THE ZOMBIES HAVE BEEN SHORT-CHANGED FOR THE LAST TIME: You will never in a million years guess what teen film/phenomenon is on the EW cover. Again.

[Okay, I can't complain without offering an alternative: Modern Family.]

SAVE TRAMPOLINE BEAR: I haven't watched 30 Rock from last night yet, but there's apparently a pretty vicious Around The Horn parody. That triggers a question and topic for discussion--why does PTI (at least when hosted by the original dynamic duo) work, while Around The Horn (and other attempts to replicate the format) fail? Also, why isn't there an entirely pop-culture based takeoff on the PTI format, why hasn't VH1/E! tried to do one, and why haven't we been asked to host it?

LESBIAN YELLOW SOUR FRUIT: I don't know how people can watch 30 Rock without a TiVo -- seriously, go back and watch all the scrolls during Sports Shouters (the 0-0 soccer scores, the KC Royals being left off the 2010 schedule, the Rick Pitino joke), then make sure you caught the deliberate continuity error in the opening, and then we can talk about just how much it makes a difference when the show returns to the Liz-Jack relationship which is at the core of the show. That, and Canadian football jokes.

As for The Office, it wasn't a great episode but I appreciate where this is going. Really: are there any other shows on tv which reflect contemporary economic concerns like The Office does (and always has)? It does make Modern Family -- which I love, mind you -- look like it's existing in Greater FairyLand by comparison. (That, and that Lily keeps disappearing.) The silliness got a little too silly, though I liked Oscar's attempts at a Southern accent (and Creed's reaction to it all, while predictable, was nonetheless great) and the standoff at the end is one of the better post-credits sequences they've had in a while. Also, and I can't believe I'm saying this -- is it time for more Nard Dog, less Schrute?

NFL shipwrecks Captain Morgan campaign - NFL - Yahoo! Sports

... AND I'LL BE NO ONE, WHILE ANDY REID CAN CARRY YOU AWAY IF YOU WANT TO: The NFL has sent to Davy Jones' Locker a liquor company's plans to make charitable contributions to the NFL retired players benefit fund whenever a player posed like Captain Morgan after scoring a td.