ENOUGH WITH THE PALLADIUM-CATALYZED CROSS COUPLINGS IN ORGANIC SYNTHESIS STUFF: Can someone please explain to me how it could possibly be the case that the Nobel Committee continually fails to award one of its prizes to the inventor of the Magic Eraser? Mr. Clean, my grout, walls, and shower doors thank you.

GOING "QUAID CRAZY" IS FINALLY IN: Last year at this time, the WaPo correctly predicted that 2010 would see the rise of Justin Bieber, Nicki Minaj, groupons, cupcake trucks and Ayn Rand devotees.  So it would make sense to begin 2011 by checking out its predictions for What's In and Out for 2011, a strange new world in which zombies, Team CoCo, brussels sprouts and Diet Dr. Pepper are replaced by ballerinas, Joel McHale worship, sauerkraut and Cherry Zero.  (I must note, however, that this is the second straight year that someone's bought into that nonsense caveman diet/fitness non-trend.)

Welcome to the future, gang.  Time for me to corner the FCOJ market.

GOVERNOR PATERSON WANTS US TO RACE TO THE WHAT?  Kill some time with Splitsider's awesome Year in Review posts regarding The World of Things Funny, including the year in humor writing, unintentional comedy, and fifteen funny people who passed away in 2010.

AMERICA VOTED:  The results of this year's ALOTT5MA balloting for the National Baseball Hall of Fame are in, which you can compare with the ongoing BBTF compilation of disclosed BBWAA ballots (we're much higher on Jeff Bagwell, and lower on Jack Morris and Lee Smith):

Inducted:
R Alomar: 48 (of 51) votes (94.12%)
J Bagwell: 43 votes (84.31%)
B Blyleven: 40 votes (78.43%)

Ouch:
B Larkin: 38 votes (74.51%)
T Raines: 36 votes (70.59%)

HOW YOUSE DOIN'?  An incredible map and taxonomy of North American English Dialects, including 620 (!) audio exemplar samples of various dialect distinctions.  Where does "cot" sound like "caught" and "father" rhyme with "bother"?  Click and see.

SAID RED MOLLY TO JAMES, "THAT'S A FINE MOTORBIKE":  Among those given New Years Honours by Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II, as new Officers of the Order of the British Empire, are Annie Lennox and Richard Thompson. Said Lennox, "As somewhat of a renegade, it either means I've done something terribly right - or they've done something terribly wrong. In any case, whatever powers-that-be have deemed me worthy of such a recognition, I'm getting my fake leopard pillbox hat dusted and ready."  Below the fold, a favorite performance from each:

DISRESPECT:  When you're only a hired keyboard player for the gig, I don't care how late the featured entertainment is -- it's not your place to show up the artist by posting an I WAS ON TIME sign in front of the audience to show up the woman who's signing your checks.  Even if it's the perpetually punctually-challenged Ms. Lauryn Hill, whose tangles with tardiness are even more amusing in light of the fact that I just attended a Prince show which started on-time and ended at 11pm.  (True, he then played an afterparty concert which started at 3:30am.)

But what the keyboardist did to Ms. Hill, she in turn did to her fans.  When you're starting to be called the Axl Rose of the hip-hop world, it's a problem.  If you just have a problem showing up before midnight for your concerts, don't promote them as starting at 8:00 pm.  And then folks can decide if that's an evening they'd like to have.  This isn't hard.