SUCKERED? Even though Diary of A Wimpy Kid 2: Diary Harder looks likely to beat it at the box office this weekend, at least to our demographic, Sucker Punch is the movie that matters, and I wanted to open up a zone for discussion of it with a few (spoiler-free) thoughts of my own. One review I read described it as "Burlesque meets Inception," and that's actually not a bad description in a lot of ways. Like Burlesque, there's abundant and gratuitous cheesecake from our five female leads, but like Inception, the movie plays with "levels" of reality and consciousness.

Part of what made Inception work so well is that it was always crystal clear which "level" we were on--"the real world," the antigravity level, the snow fortress, the crumbling city--and how something on one level interacted with the other levels ("death in the dream means you wake up," the significance of a "kick"). The key problem with Sucker Punch is that two of the levels (the "real world," which we rarely visit, and the "brothel") are largely visually indistinguishable (the costumes on the ladies are skimpier in the brothel), and that we have no idea how the layers of reality interact. We know that when our heroine "dances" in the brothel level, she (and the others) are transported into the videogame-like action sequences that have predominated in the publicity, but (save for once) we don't see how the action sequences "translate" to the brothel level, much less the "real world." Seeing how the fantasy mirrors reality would have made the film much more effective.

Much of the criticism is valid--a lot of the time, the film feels like a fanboy fetish video--scantily clad chicks destroy Steampunk Nazi Cyborgs! Emily Browning in a Japanese schoolgirl outfit a la Sailor Moon v. giant samurai robots! Helicopter vs. dragons! But I think Snyder at least hoped to do something more with the film--it doesn't work as well as Inception (or another quasi-relative--Scott Pilgrim), but it's audacious, interesting, and, at times, visually stunning. (For those concerned/interested, Jon Hamm is in the movie for about 5 minutes, though it's an important 5 minutes.)

THE STATE OF OUR UNION IS BRAAAIINNNNSS! Foreign Policy addresses an important question--do we have continuity of government should a zombie outbreak strike the White House? (And you guys know to behave yourselves in the comments, right?)

WE TAKE REQUESTS: Via frequent commenter Meghan:

So, as some of you may know, I work with kids with learning disabilities. I have one 9-year-old boy right now who is struggling to be motivated to get any work done. The only currency we've found is gross stories. That is, he completes one task and someone on staff has to tell him a gross story, he goes back to work and is rewarded with another gross story, etc. I have a small staff and we've all pretty much exhausted the stories we can tell, as I'm obviously not going to tell him the gross stuff I saw or endured as a result of drinking too much or anything like that. We've told him stories of vomit, pants-wetting, run-ins with cockroaches, dead squirrels stuck in the chimney, and bloody mishaps involving sharp objects.  

Is there any way the thing-throwing community can contribute some similarly-themed stories that would be appropriate for a 9-year-old male non-relative? 

INDUCTION JUNCTION (WRASSLIN' EDITION): Looks like Blogger swallowed my previous post, so I'll try again. As I was saying, while some sports Halls of Fame err on the side of being exclusionary, so much so that they barely aknowledge entire postions (see Guy, Ray and Martinez, Edgar), the WWE hardly suffers from such a malady. In fact, rubbing shoulders in the WWE Hall with such legends of the squared circle as Hulk Hogan, Andre the Giant and Ric Flair are Dree Carey, Pete Rose, and William "The Fridge" Perry. UGO has compiled a list of The Least Deserving WWE Hall of Famers, including the aforementioned celebs as well as some legitimate talents such as Koko B. Ware, who very well may be the Catfish Hunter of the Hall.

Meanwhile, over at Bleacher Report, they've got a list of 10 active wrestlers who should be working on their induction speeches, including Kane, Edge, and Triple H.

HELP ME CLEAN A LOT OF PLATES IN MEMPHIS: Look at me, my first post in 10 months or so and now I am asking for a favor. We're pointing the family truckster south next week for spring break, hitting up Springfield, Ill.; Memphis; and St. Louis. I'm looking for any tips, especially when it comes to the dizzing array of BBQ restaurants in Memphis. But really anything you think my family (boy 11 and girl 9, plus wife--were leaving behind the little one with my in-laws) might enjoy in those three cities or spots in between. I thank you with a list of 1,074 songs about The River City.

By the way, the trip was in part inspired by Hampton Sides fascinating look at the assasination of Martin Luther King and the subsequent manhunt for James Earl Ray, Hellhound on His Trail. It's a great read, really riveting, and well worth your time.

HOLY MOTHER OF CHRIST. I AM TALKING TO BILLY JOEL ON THE PHONE – FOR REAL:  Eric Teplitz, my classmate from grades 7-12, recounts with fondness a lengthy interview he conducted fifteen years ago today.

WITH THE TINFOIL HATS IN LA-LA LAND:  Many new words have been added to the Oxford English Dictionary, including muffin top, heteronormative, gremolata and ego-surfing.  Use as many as you can in a sentence, poem, rebus, etc.