IMAGINARY FEMALE TROUBLE. SUPPRESSED MASTURBATION. NOVEL READING: A list of reasons for admission to the Trans-Allegheny Lunatic Asylum, 1864-69. (HT: @emilynussbaum)

TODAY'S SHOW CONSISTS OF FIVE HUNDRED ACTS:  Congratulations, This American Life. If you had only done the Harold Washington episode, dayenu. (We last discussed our favorites in 2010.)

BEYOND TOMMY WESTPHALL:Someone has developed an exceedingly elaborate theory to explain how every Pixar film (yes, including Cars and Cars 2) takes place in the same universe.

THOUGH SUCH AN EVENT COULD EXPLAIN NEWARK'S DECAY:  Philip Roth did not, in fact, watch Sharknado with Mia Farrow last night.

I AM THE ONE WHO KNOCKS:If you really want to see Walter White's immortal tightie-whites (along with a bunch of other costumes and other ephemera from Breaking Bad), they'll be on display at NYC's Museum of the Moving Image in connection with the final few episodes of the show.

#LOLMETS:  There's really only one franchise in MLB clumsy enough to choose pissing off actual Native Americans in a weird effort to avoid offending a team built on stereotypical images of Native Americans.

(TPE and I attended the SF Giants' Native American Heritage Night last month. Zero political content.)

RULE 7:  TV's number one drama is losing the closest thing it has to a leading lady, as Cote de Pablo will leave NCIS after a short arc at the start of next season to give closure to the character.  I don't know that it'll affect ratings much--yes, there are a number of very loud "Tiva" shippers who will swear off the show, but the show's recast this same role before, as have most of the long-running CBS procedurals, with little negative effect on ratings.  The more interesting question is who winds up filling the part.  You can come up with some interesting names just going through cancelled shows from last season:  Dana Delany, Dichen Lachman, Radha Mitchell, Caterina Scorsone, Anna Camp, Janet Montgomery, and Jordana Spiro.  I'll offer a dark horse--Callie Thorne, whose USA vehicle seems teetering on the verge of cancellation, and who has the right sort of energy for the part.