LES JEUNES!  In advance of tomorrow's Tina Fey-hosted SNL season opener, Tara Ariano reboots the Sketch Predictatron, Splitsider remembers the eight biggest transitional seasons in show history, and Vulture lists fifteen recurring characters they'd like to see again.

HE'S GUILTY!  HE'S GUILTY!  As we launch into a new TV season with a lot of shows that are bad or mediocre in an uninteresting way, it's time for Slate to look back at one of TV's most fascinating disasters--I speak, of course, of Cop Rock.  FWIW, Cop Rock averaged a 7.4 Neilsen rating for its truncated first season (about 6.8 million viewers)--double what Parks & Rec delivered last night.

THIS CAN'T ALL BE FOR NOTHING:  Linda Holmes would like you to claim your cockamamie theory for how Breaking Bad will end, and we encourage you to do so here, there, or anywhere Stevia is available.

THOROUGHLY MODERN SITCOMS:  Some more sitcom math based on watching pilots over the past few days:

• Trophy Wife:  Modern Family (as it was in season one) - Mitchell & Cameron + Bradley Whitford=Yes, I will be watching.
• The Goldbergs:  Modern Family (as it is now) + 80s references + EVEN MORE YELLING - Gloria=No, I probably will not be watching, despite Patton Oswalt in the Daniel Stern voiceover role.
• The Michael J. Fox Show:  Modern Family (as it was in season one) -Jay/Gloria and Mitch/Cameron + "wacky sister" + Parkinson's Jokes replacing "funny accent" jokes =Yes, I will be watching.
• Dads:  Modern Family (as it is now) + additional racism and sexism + multicam and laugh track=No, I didn't even bother watching.

EXIT SANDMAN:  After recording the final two outs of the eighth inning and then the first two of the ninth, this happened at Yankee Stadium tonight.

We will surely talk about Mariano Rivera's remarkable career over the next few days, but for now, just watch.

YOU ARE A KINGPIN: There is a lot of Breaking Bad-related riffing in the interwebs this week, obviously, so take a look at Breaking Bad plots as Choose Your Own Adventure novels, or a video with every bad thing that's happened to Jesse Pinkman scored to "Everybody Hurts" (or a compilation of humor on the show), or MZS's or Grantland's favorite episodes, or a LTE that didn't quite get it, or ...

IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE BELATEDLY TRYING TO EXPRESS REGRET:  Bill Gates now wishes he hadn't required ctrl-alt-delete for logging into Windows, as opposed to a single, convenient button.