I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR SO LONG: Saray with her latest recap, again without any instruments accompanying her:

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Tonight’s show opens on Movie Night with “Time of My Life” from Dirty Dancing. It’s very safe, with heteronormative duet couplings and a lot of basic a cappella backgrounds. Don’t worry, the sparkly dresses are back, this time on Vocal Rush. Jewel will be coaching the groups tonight, and Nick tells us that all of the groups will be going to Ultimate Sing-Offs tonight. (So then...what’s the point of having them sing in the first place?) They’ll do two eliminations tonight. Nick introduces the judges as “Ben – the brain, Jewel – the beauty, and Shawn – the vocal muscle.” I rage.

A PACKET OF STEVIA, A CYTRON CARD, A SCREWDRIVER, AND A Q-TIP:  Twelve memorable objects from the year in televison.

WE'RE NOT DOING THE BIT?  Jon Stewart surprised John Oliver last night with a farewell tribute, and it gets a bit dusty at the end.

IF THE DEMOGRAPHIC SHOE FITS...  Joe Adalian's breakdown of the year in Nielsen ratings has a lot of valuable insight, and this paragraph in particular seems to cover a lot of this blog's favorite tv programming:

ABC's Modern Family had the most affluent audience of any broadcast show in 2013, with its viewers boasting a median income of $82,400. The show with the lowest median income? The CW's short-lived game show Oh Sit! Still, wealthy-ish folks make bad viewing choices, too: After Modern Family, the TV show with the second richest audience profile was NBC's Smash, whose audience boasted a median income of $81,100. Other shows whose viewers had a median income over $75,000 (in descending order of wealth): The Amazing Race, Fringe, The Bachelorette, The Good Wife, Happy Endings, The Office, 30 Rock, Parks and Recreation, 60 Minutes, Don't Trust the B--- in Apt. 23, and Suburgatory. As for lower income shows, the series with audiences making do with median incomes of $45,000 or lower (in addition to Oh Sit!): American Dad, Cops, Perfect Score, and The Cleveland Show.

HAVE YOURSELF A DERPY LITTLE CHRISTMAS:  TNR's Michael Schaffer, on "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer":

There’s this little reindeer with a deformity. We have no evidence that this deformity actually keeps him from his reindeer duties: He has a red, glowing nose. Big deal! It’s not like he has a torn ACL that might limit his flying-sleigh-pulling abilities. At any rate, because of this deformity, the other reindeer laugh, call him names, and bar him from their all-important games, effectively ostracizing him just because he looks funny.... Despite the repeated snubs and the impolite request, Rudolph demonstrates his utility in brilliant form. At which point all the reindeer decide that they love him. Notice that they still don’t apologize. 

Perhaps I am wrong, but this strikes me as a terrible, terrible lesson for kids. At the very basic level, “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” presents a fairly grim, Hobbesian vision of society: If you want to be accepted, you have to prove your economic utility—which, in the case of magical flying reindeer, appears to only involve the annual sleigh-pull. 

WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LET ME BE? More from Saray:

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Last night's episode of The Sing-Off gave us movie themes (I didn't check, but we're assuming all of these songs are Sony songs or NBC Universal movies, right? Because if not, that would be a missed opportunity by the NBC execs.) They announced at the top of the show that all six groups remaining would compete in the Ultimate Sing-Off, which basically just meant "hey let's let these two groups sing together and come up with an excuse." That was okay, though, as it gave us two phenomenal group mashups, and also an additional only ok mashup with VoicePlay and the acoUstiKats.

AND THEY'VE NEVER HEARD OF LOVE:  Today marks thirteen years since Kirsty MacColl was taken from us in a tragic accident. Here's "In These Shoes?" and "They Don't Know".