GIVE IT AWAY NOW:  Joining Bruno Mars as performers at the Super Bowl halftime show?  The Red Hot Chili Peppers.  For all the marketing they've put into "this time the game's in New York!" (even though it's in New Jersey), kind of odd that they have opted for two resolutely West Coast acts to entertain at halftime (and two West Coast acts who don't seem like the most natural of fits together).

CLASSICAL GAS?  Our good friend Adam C. wants to know:

I am 43 and interested in learning guitar.  Not particularly well, and not particularly expensively.  I have no known musical aptitude other than singing along respectably in the car and the ability to play some harmonica without causing others to flee.  I have never taken instrument lessons of any kind and haven't read music since middle school music class.  Essentially, I am interested (a) in training my brain to do something new, (b) playing along at a reasonable level with my kids, who do seem to have some musical aptitude (clarinet and drums/vocals, respectively), and (c) learning to play some of my favorite rock songs just for funsies. I do not aspire to membership in a band, weekend busking, a recording contract, session gigs, collecting a variety of cool axes, or other things that well-trained and talented guitar players might aspire to.

So I'd be very appreciative of any advice any of you guitar heroes can throw my way.  Should I start with acoustic, electric, or acoustic/electric?  Whatever I should start with, what make/model/accessories do you recommend for the beginner? Should I take lessons (live or online) or try to teach myself?  What is a humbucker pickup and should I want it?  You get the idea.  Thanks in advance for your wisdom.

STALLONE GUNNED DOWN DURING DEER HUNT? The top-rated movie (based on IMDb) set in each of the fifty states.

[Quick criticisms: Indiana should get Hoosiers or Breaking Away, not Christmas Story. Give Primary Colors to Arkansas over Sling Blade; for Florida, I prefer Out of Sight to Scarface.]

STEEL CURTAIN OF LITIGATION:  A Pittsburgh Steelers fan is seeking an injunction against the NFL conducting further playoff games due to a missed call in the Chiefs/Chargers game, claiming that the missed call led to the Steelers' elimination from the playoffs, and that the Steelers should be admitted to the playoffs.

(HT: My Father, who monitors officiating news of all stripes.)

I'M SURE THIS WILL RESOLVE ALL CONTROVERSIES CONCLUSIVELY:  "Disney has created a special committee whose job it will be to figure out what is and isn't part of a complete Star Wars canon — meaning all the [Expanded Universe] material created over the years will be judged, and either become official or deemed invalid."

WHY BE A SERVANT TO THE LAW, WHEN YOU CAN BE ITS MASTER?  Updating an earlier story ("100% PURE UNNECESSARY!"), Gerard "yes, I count as a movie star in this diminished age" Butler is set to play the Bodhi role in the upcoming, unnecessary Point Break remake set in the extreme sports world.

DOCTOR ROSENROSEN:  A guide to the etymology of many Ashkenazi Jewish surnames.