A List Of Things Thrown Five Minutes Ago

NOW RELEGATED TO "HE PLAYED FOR ONE OF THOSE OTHER PHILLIES TEAMS" STATUS: Yeah, I remain fascinated by the whole Lenny Dykstra, Investment King saga, but I have no sympathy for a guy who's not paying his lawyers (or accountants) (or publishing partner), and am honestly pretty turned off by the tone of this meant-to-be-fawning profile in today's Philadelphia Daily News:

Flying commercial is the very definition of hell for Dykstra, who says he has not done it in years. One of the chief components of The Players Club is providing access to private jets, which will be supplied by the company Dykstra oversees, "Legends Air." He has his own personal jet that has been in the shop since summer: The engines are being worked on and the interior is being redone. Dykstra himself is keeping a close eye on the progress, even down to the design of the dinner plates that will be used in the cabin. Someone handed him a sheaf of papers with patterns on it during the trip up to New England. He examined each carefully until he finally came to a decision.

"Here," he said, holding one of the patterns up for general inspection. "Look how classy this is."

I can't hear that last line without imagining Fred Armisen and Scarlett Johansson explaining the joy of marble columns and chandeliers. (You like eating steak? You ain't eaten steak until you've eaten it under a CHANDELIER!)

Read the article, because here's my real question: tell me how many times your bullshit detector goes off when Dykstra describes how much he's worth or what his plans are.