Saturday, January 23, 2010

AND THIS BIRD YOU CANNOT CHANGE: Conan's final monologue and departing remarks are transcribed here, and that all-star musical finale is, for now, still on YouTube. From those remarks:

To all the people watching, I can never thank you enough for your kindness to me and I'll think about it for the rest of my life. All I ask of you is one thing: please don't be cynical. I hate cynicism -- it's my least favorite quality and it doesn't lead anywhere.

Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen.

Now, the hard question: was O'Brien's decision to reject NBC's offer to continue to host The Tonight Show at 12:05 am (a) correct, no matter what, as a matter of principle and dignity or (b) only the correct move if he lands an appropriate new perch? Fox at 11pm is not guaranteed to happen, and if not that, then what?

added video: Hanks and O'Brien in the Five-Timers Club (1990); Jimmy Fallon says goodbye.

28 comments:

  1. Correct as a matter of principle and dignity.  To the extent there's still a "Tonight Show" (and I'm not unsympathetic to the Letterman argument that once Carson left, the "Tonight Show" died), it is defined as being THE show on NBC late night, not playing second banana to Leno.  There's no question Conan will land somewhere--it may not be a traditional 5 night a week show, but for all his "immaturity," this incident established him as someone significant.

    The bigger question--who the HELL advised NBC on the contract that allegedly gave Jay Leno a $150M buyout for a two-year deal (with a 10 PM timeslot guarantee that he's apparently agreed to waive)?  Any analyst could have told them the 10 PM thing would be a disaster, and you want flexibility, not a massive liquidated damages clause.

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  2. Carmichael Harold12:33 PM

    Matt,  if I had to guess, the huge buyout amount existed as more of a defensive payout against him going to ABC or Fox.  I'm sure Leno would've been offered similar amounts (maybe over a longer term) for an 11:00 or 11:35 show on another network.  I can imagine the decision process for NBC was (1) we need to stop Leno from competing with Conan's Tonight Show, (2) we can only do that by giving him a show, (3) if that show doesn't work, we still need to protect Conan for two years, and (4) two years of protection is worth at least $150m to us.  I don't think that's a ridiculous way for NBC to have thought about it.  After these seven months, they probably decided that Conan wasn't worth protecting.

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  3. That last speech was really classy and moving.  I do hope and expect Conan will land on his feet in a place with lots of visibility, but until he does, this is a nice way to go out.

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  4. Nancy1:11 PM

    a. Totally a.    

    Conan is nothing if not smart and it was smart to go out at the height of his game on his own terms in this situation. 

    I can't doubt he's sorry on many levels, but I bet he's also energized and excited about the future might hold.  What he did was not the safe, CYA move most would have chosen. He saw the writing on the wall, made a decision quickly, moved with determination to protect his people, and exited with a level of unparallelled class. I have immense respect for that.

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  5. Jenn.1:17 PM

    Yup.  I also think that, if he'd taken the deal to move to 12:00, he'd have always been at risk of NBC getting through his contract and then taking the show away from him and giving it to Leno.  At a minimum, he took his time of optimum negotiating power and used it well.  I do think that he'll land somewhere.  Where exactly, and what it will look like, is not entirely clear, but he'll be back on TV in some capacity by the end of the year, I would think.

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  6. Timothy Jaxon1:22 PM

    I suppose we'll never see Conan host SNL now, will we?

    Now that he's been paid boocoodles of money, the next move might be to leave network TV for cable - lining him up with Stewart and Colbert would seem right.  His comedy seems to fit more with Comedy Central.

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  7. Nancy1:23 PM

    Right, Adam. I was so glad I set my DVR to record Fallon because that was awesome.

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  8. Classy, though the one (arguable) lack of class on Conan's part is that (and my recording cut off before the final notes of Free Bird, so he might have) he didn't do the traditional "Stay tuned for Late Night...." signoff, which Conan had talked about how much it mattered when he left Late Night.

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  9. Meghan1:33 PM

    Completely agree with this.  Ebersol could take a lesson.

    Was Conan instrumental in the "More Cowbell" sketch?  Or was that Will Ferrell just bringing it back for fun?

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  10. Mine cut off as well.

    Re the use of "Lovely Rita" as Tom Hanks' intro music, by the way, @Questlove tweets: "<span><span>that first stunt was what it was (no spoilers) but tom's walkon music on conan is on my "restricted" list---wow a $500,000 walkon song lol."</span></span>

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  11. Of course, that assumes he wasn't able to work out a better deal with the rightsholders.  An interesting question is whether celebs like Hanks and Farrell who have made their allegiance to Team Conan plain will decline to do Leno in the future.

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  12. Carmichael Harold1:58 PM

    I just watched the last 10 minutes of the show, and can't get over what a surprising array of actual emotion it managed to bring out of me; some combination of regret, nostalgia, pride (for Conan), reflection, laughter and, for the last few minutes, just stupid, perma-grin joy.  I know that this was just the last of a (mostly) trivial spat between a few extraordinarily wealthy people and a massive multinational corporation about the end of a barely watched program in a dying medium, but, damn, it was pretty great.

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  13. Jenn.2:14 PM

    I wonder.... I've read (as I'm sure that we all have) that the settlement agreement prevents Conan from doing interviews (although he can appear on TV as a character).  Here's the question that I'm pondering:  Does the settlement agreement prevent him from doing web stuff?  If not, I have a feeling that we'll be seeing plenty of webisodes and such from Conan and team between now and September.

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  14. Mr. Cosmo3:06 PM

    Right move, for reasons having nothing to do with principles.  Say you've just been promoted to partner at your firm.  The managing partner walks in and says, "Hey, we elected you to partner because you're a brilliant litigator, but instead of working on those Supreme Court cases, we'd like you to do nothing but document review for the next five years, at the same salary.  Or, you can take most of your salary for the next five years up front, and you can go do whatever you want in six months."  Who doesn't take that deal?  He has five years to do whatever he wants, and he has forty friggin million dollars in the bank.  It would have been *principled* if he quit without the massive severance. 

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  15. Katie5:16 PM

    I'm definitely with you, I grinned during the whole last number.  I wish I had a lighter to hold up.  I enjoyed playing "spot the famous musician"  Hey, there's Beck!  Hello Elvis Costello!  And Conan looked like he was having such a great time. I thought it was an excellent way to end this brief chapter.  

    I'm reading "The Late Shift" after putting it aside many years ago.  I never liked Jay Leno (I'm a Letterman girl), but at least he's consistent with his jerkitude.

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  16. Heather K7:06 PM

    Here, here Mr. Cosmo.  I would gladly take forty friggin million bucks principles or no!

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  17. Eric J7:55 PM

    I've started to think that Conan would be crazy to do another late night talk show right now. He should use all of the goodwill he's got banked to pick a new project and format, perhaps something that harkens back to his Simpsons/SNL roots. In fact. while NBC would never go for it, replacing Lorne at SNL might be his best destiny.

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  18. Jennifer9:50 PM

    I agree with regards to principles that Conan should have walked. Who wants to work for people who have made it very clear they aren't that fond of you? We're all living vicariously through this guy. Also, he can buy his own island and he could manage without having a job for the rest of his life if he had to, but after this he won't have to.

    I do, however, feel sorry for his beloved staff, because even with Conan going to bat for them, odds are nobody can afford to wait another seven months (at least) to get hired by him again, and they're out of work and screwed for no fault of their own. So that does suck for them.

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  19. I don't think Lorne would go for it either. When Conan took over Tonight Show he didn't bring Lorne (his Late Night producer) along to the big show, and Lorne was not happy about that.

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  20. What's been hinted at in the press is that everyone on staff is getting a substantial severance (probably at least 2 months), and Conan will (out of his own pocket) pay more on top of that.  What's fascinating is that no one anywhere has had anything negative to say about Conan personally, even though substantial stuff has come out about Leno and Letterman's own foibles.  He seems to be  a rarity--a comedian who's not even remotely driven by self-loathing/hatred.

    Furthermore, even though Conan can't be back on the air until September, his staff (and he) will be working by early August getting the show up and running, cutting promos, doing test shows, and the like.

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  21. Fred App11:02 PM

    Jennifer asks: "Who wants to work for people who have made it very clear they aren't that fond of you?" I believe the answer to that question is: "Jay Leno."

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  22. That wasn't Elvis Costello, it was a member of Conan's band.

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  23. His final thoughts were wonderful and reminded me instantly of part of Colbert's commencement address.
    "Remember, you cannot be both young and wise. Young people who pretend to be wise to the ways of the world are mostly just cynics. Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the farthest thing from it. Because cynics don't learn anything. Because cynicism is a self-imposed blindness, a rejection of the world because we are afraid it will hurt us or disappoint us. Cynics always say no. But saying "yes" begins things. Saying "yes" is how things grow. Saying "yes" leads to knowledge. "Yes" is for young people. So for as long as you have the strength to, say "yes."

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  24. Jennifer J.1:54 AM

    "a" all the way.

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  25. spacewoman3:04 AM

    Two months isn't exactly substantial, especially for people who moved across the country for this. 

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  26. Katie9:33 AM

    That guy should play Elvis Costello at birthday parties, if there's a need for such a thing...

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