MOVE OVER, JOHNNY SWITCHBLADE: ADVENTURE PUNK: Is there a child in your life whom you loathe? If so, I'd like to recommend to you the worst toy in the entire world, KidzLabs' Dig-a-Dino Dinosaur Skeleton Excavation Kit. The concept is simple: use the tools provided to excavate dinosaur skeleton parts, then assemble them. Or, more accurately and without exaggeration, use a plastic knife and a nylon-tipped paint brush to turn a block of plaster with all the characteristics of solid rock into a gallon of asthma-exacerbating powder, then sift through for the fingernail-sized pieces necessary to assemble a rickety and ill-fitting model. In our house, it took two full hours of constant scraping for two adults to get all the dinosaur bones excavated. By the end, the digging tool was filed down to almost nothing. And I ended up with an arm so sore that I had to cut short my time in the gym the following day.
The package cautions, accurately and misleadingly, that the toy is "not for children under 3." It should have replaced "under 3" with "or adults." Because of the clever combination of sharp implement (the excavating tool) and heavy bludgeon (the plaster encasing the skeleton), I think the toy's highest and best use is as prison contraband.
