- The awesomeness of an episode of Lost is directly proportional to how much Terry O'Quinn or Josh Holloway is in an episode.
- The awesomeness of an episode of Lost is inversely proportional to how much Evangeline Lily is in an episode.
- The legendary-ness of an episode of HIMYM is inversely proportional to how much time is spent with Ted. (Exception--the first episode with Sarah Chalke.)
- The quality of an episode of Big Bang Theory is inversely proportional to how much Howard's mother appears in that episode.
- The quality of an episode of Castle is directly proportional to how much screen time Susan Sullivan and Molly Quinn have in that episode.
- The quality of an episode of Grey's Anatomy is directly proportional to how much Bailey features in that episode, ideally telling off people for being idiots in their personal lives.
- The excellence of an episode of Dollhouse is generally inversely proportional to how much Echo/Caroline features in a particular episode, and directly proportional to how much Victor and Sierra feature in the same episode. (Exception--The Attic.)
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
DR. SHELDON COOPER WOULD BE PROUD: Further efforts toward a Grand Unified Theory of Pop Culture (as previously discussed in relation to Mad Men):
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The quality of an episode of <span>House </span>is inversely proportional to how much Thirteen appears in that episode. I'm with Sepinwall in this.
ReplyDeleteThe awesomeness of an episode of Parks & recreation is Directly proportional to how good Leslie is portrayed at being at her job.
ReplyDeleteThe awesomeness of an episode of Big Love is inversely proportional to the amount of time spent at Juniper Creek. (People from Juniper Creek appearing in Sandy are fine. Having things take place at Juniper Creek is usually the issue.)
The awesomeness of an episode of Modern Family is directly proportional to how many individuals in the three groupings interact with how many of the individuals in the other groupings.
The awesomeness of 30 Rock is inversely proportional to the amount of Jenna in them, unless the plot involves Jamie Jormp-Jormp. (It is also inversely proportional to how long the show has been on the air, sadly.)
The awesomeness of an episode of Burn Notice is directly proportional to the length of the episode. (Exception: The ones with Moon Bloodgood.)
ReplyDeleteThe enjoyability of an episode of Fringe is in direct proportion to how far off his meds Walter Bishop is.
The awesomeness of an episode of Idol is inversely proportional to how much time they let Randy or Kara talk. And directly proportional to the amount of time Simon gets.
ReplyDeleteThe aweseomeness of an episode of TAR is directly proportional to the number of times Phil raises his eyebrow.
I guess I'm the only viewer left who still cares about the identity of the mother on HIMYM. I've been disappointed in this season in part because they've gotten so far away from the original premise that I thought set it apart from other sitcoms. I love the Barney character, but I don't like him nearly as much when the show is entirely about him.
ReplyDeleteThis post was amazing. That is all.
ReplyDeleteThe awesomeness of an episode of House is also directly proportional to the number of House/Wilson shanigans, and inversely proportional to the amount of Cuddy/Lucas time in the episode.
ReplyDeleteI would hone that a bit more. I'm fine with Thirteen as a character, but would accept "The quality of an episode of House is inversely proportional to how much time is spent focusing on 13's relationship with Foreman."
ReplyDeleteThe quality of an episode of the Simpsons or the Office is inversely proportional to how far overboard the depiction of the stupidity of Homer or Michael Scott is.
ReplyDeleteThe quality of most police/criminal procedural shows is inversely proportional to how much time is spent developing some random backstories or romantic subplots for the characters. Exceptions for the ones built around an interesting relationship between the leads (Castle, Moonlighting, Remington Steele), for which there is an optimal amount of character interplay or development, and the quality of an episode is inversely proportional to how much they deviate from that optimal amount.
We could do this historically. I'm sure I'll get in screaming fights with people, but the quality of an episode of M*A*S*H is inversely proportional to how much time Hawkeye spends talking to his main buddies and foils, and proportional to how much time Hawkeye spends talking to offscreen or one-off characters.
The quality of an episode of Jay Leno is inversely proportional to how early it is being broadcast.
The excellence of a season of Friday Night Lights is inversely proportional to the number of corpses Landry murders.
ReplyDeleteThe awesomeness of an episode of SYTYCD is directly proportional to the number of choreographers featured and the temperature (summer = better).
ReplyDeleteThe awesomeness of an episode Gossip Girl is directly proportional to the amount of Chuck Bass and inversely proportional to the amount of Rufus.
The extra-awesomeness of The Wire (because even sub-par Wire is still awesome) is directly proportional to (1) the amount of Stringer Bell or (2) the amount of kids. (2) is rather unique because usually that's an inversely proportional thing.
Sorry - Guest was me.
ReplyDeleteThe awesomeness of an episode of Gossip Girl is also directly proportional to how bitchy Blair Waldorf is in a particular episode and inversely proportional to how stupid Serena is in a particular episode.
ReplyDeleteDuring its prime-time run, the awesomeness of an episode of Friends was inversely proportional to the amount of Ross in the episode.
ReplyDeleteThe awesomeness of Heroes (assuming we are talking classic, good Heroes) is inversely proportional to how much time is spent with Peter.
ReplyDeleteThe awesomeness of Veronica Mars is proportional to how much time we see Veronica and her father on screen together. Conversely, any scene involving Jake Kane deducts from that episode.
I would say that the quality of a Dollhouse episode is inversely proportional to the amount of time spent on Echo's engagments.
ReplyDeleteThe awesomeness of an episode of Doctor Who is inversely proportional to the sum of the Producer's and Writer's desire to make a political statement.
ReplyDeleteCan NBC please bury Leno at 3 a.m. to test this hypothesis?
ReplyDeleteThe quality of an episode of Better Off Ted or Arrested Development are inversely proportional to their respective network officials's faith in the show.
ReplyDeletecalliekl's ability to spell shenanigans is inversely proportional to the amount of time she has spent staring down a microscope that day.
ReplyDeleteAmen.
ReplyDeleteI'd kind of enjoy watching him, Matt Lauer, and Meredith Viera all try to be airy and pleasant (except when coming back from a Sad Story Involving Children) at the camera at the same time.
ReplyDeleteThe quality of The Good Wife is directly proportional to the amount of screen time Kalinda gets.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of - are many thingthrowers watching this? I know there's much love for Josh Charles, but I don't think I've read much here beyond that.
I thought about that, but I can't even stand her by herself. Her Huntington's Disease and her bisexuality are not interesting by themselves, and her character never does anything that would make those traits meaningful. She's just a bland pretty face.
ReplyDeleteI think with a very few notable exceptions, this could be applied to just about every single scripted TV show out there.
ReplyDeleteAgree on P&R, and would add that the awesomeness of an episode is also directly proportional to how much screen time is given to Ron F'ing Swanson.
ReplyDeleteThe quality of an episode of Chuck is proportional to the sum of the amount of Jeffster plus the amount of Chuck and Sarah.
ReplyDeleteYou know, I was thinking about that, but it's not necessarily true for me. Sometimes, Ron is best used to make a single perfect comment. I think too much Ron would spoil the specialness of the character. A few Ron-centric episodes (Megan Mullaly, for example) are great, but I like what he adds in small doses.
ReplyDeleteI am! I am!
ReplyDeleteI lurve Kalinda. What a great character, and the actress is doing a great job. I also love that Christine Baranski isn't evil. She's smart, she's funny, she's single, she's successful, and yet not evil. Which is a refreshing change on network TV.
Raised to the power of Casey's grunts.
ReplyDeleteAgreed
ReplyDeleteMe too...and I wholeheartedly agree with you!
ReplyDeleteI'm enjoying it enough that I'm watching regularly, but it's not interesting/novel enough to warrant individual blogging. Performances are strong all around (Matt Czuchry's character is interesting as well), but the "is Peter guilty or not" plotline has already dragged on way too long.
ReplyDeleteI'm also watching The Good Wife...strong acting all around. My Tivo season pass list proves that I only like procedurals if they are more character based. No CSI, no L & O other than SVU when nothing else is on, but Castle, The Good Wife, and The Mentalist I record and watch.
ReplyDeleteANTM-->directly-->MAKEOVERS
ReplyDeleteHouse-->directly-->BROMANCE
HIMYM-->directly-->SLAPPING
Project Runway-->inversely-->Team/Pair challenges
Yay! Glad to know some others are watching. I'm hoping for some new episodes after the Olympics.
ReplyDeleteI agree, too, that they've done a nice job with Christine Baranski's character, and that most of the performances are pretty strong. I enjoy seeing Cary fleshed out a bit.
As for the Peter plotline, I'm not sure where I stand yet. I like how it was moving along when things were being dropped off at the apartment and Kalinda's most recent part in the whole mess. I guess I'm willing to give it some time and see how it will develops once everyone's under the same roof.
OK, Marsha, you just talked me into watching it.
ReplyDeleteI would love to see some blogging on this show. I came in late but love love love Kalinda.
ReplyDeleteAs per normal, I agree with calliekl. More House/Wilson, please.
ReplyDeleteWest Wing inversely Toby.
ReplyDeleteActually I think she's been ok this season (outside of foreteen drama), and when she and Taub are interacting, almost interesting. But if I think about it she's only OK when she's hardly a presence.
ReplyDeleteI would also say the quality of a Grey's episode is inversely proportional to any time spent with the black hole of a character that is Izzie Stevens. Only character in history to make me root for the cancer.
ReplyDeleteThe rerun of MF tonight suggests that #3 may have exceptions--15 Percent keeps them largely separate aside from the Cameron/Jay issue, which is fairly brief, and is really funny, especially the Phil/Claire material about the remote and Phil's thermostat song.
ReplyDeleteMathematically speaking for Burn Notice: Sam Axe sparring with Fi = WIN.
ReplyDeleteThe awesomeness of an episode of Leverage is inversely proportional to how much dramatic heavy lifting Christian Kane has to do, and directly proportional to the number of Aldis Hodge quips in the episode.
ReplyDeleteThe awesoneness of an episode of Human Target is directly proportional to how many times Chi McBride expressly or impliedly says "Oh, hell no!"
TAR + Phil = Heaven! :)
ReplyDeleteI've never minded Jenna. Her plots may be the most sitcom-y, but the character usually has a funny line or two that make it worthwhile.
ReplyDelete