THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE: An AVClub retrospective on Santana's Supernatural ("perhaps the most popular LP of the ’90s that absolutely nobody cares about today") raises the following question, for which I've posted a poll in the right-hand column: which ubiquitous late-career comeback smash from an iconic 60s/70s artist is more contemptible: Santana (w/Rob Thomas) on "Smooth," or the Beach Boys' "Kokomo"?
There can be only one. Defend your vote.
Update: "Kokomo" won (which is to say, lost) the fan vote; 70% of you thought it was worse.
Using the criterion of "whichever one involved John Stamos", Kokomo clearly wins.
ReplyDeleteKokomo, easily. Beach Boys hadn't been an artistic presence since about 1973, whereas Santana was still quietly plugging along making good records. Smooth was an interesting aberration, while Kokomo was an outright abomination.
ReplyDeleteNow, show your work on this one. Which is the worse 1980's island escape movie song: "Kokomo" from Cocktail, or "Sweet Freedom" from Running Scared?
"Sweet Freedom" gave us a montage of Gregory Hines and Billy Crystal as ladies men roller skating in belly shirts. That gives it a leg up (or down, depending on your POV) on "Kokomo," easy.
ReplyDeleteKokomo gave me the ridiculous idea that Bermuda was one of the islands south of Florida, rather than a straight shot from the Carolinas. Just a bit off. Also, only one of those artists wrote Pet Sounds.
ReplyDeleteIt's not even close, is it? Kokomo is so far and away one of the worst songs ever.
ReplyDeleteBrian Wilson had nothing to do with "Kokomo."
ReplyDeleteAnd, yes, I side with all those saying this shouldn't even be close. "Kokomo" is an abomination, "Smooth" just forgettable (if you can, in fact, forget it after hearing it 18,000 times).
ReplyDeleteOr else FORGET ABOUT IT.
ReplyDelete"Smooth" is forgettable, yes. The worst thing we can say about it is that it has led to the phrase "Grammy winner Rob Thomas." Which, granted, is a pretty bad thing to say.
ReplyDeleteIn that case I amend my response to docking it for releasing a song as the Beach Boys without Brian Wilson.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely no contest. Smooth is just a forgettable pop tune. Kokomo is proof that Satan's works are among us on Earth.
ReplyDeleteYes, it's easily "Kokomo," for so many reasons, but mainly for this: At least Santana was actually playing on the Santana song, whereas the Beach Boys in question were missing the most important Beach Boy.
ReplyDeleteI also want to say that although interest in "Supernatural" may not have survived, the music itself on the album holds up pretty well. It's not Santana's best, of course, and it earned more praise than it deserves, but I don't wince when it pops up on my iPod, and there are tracks that I still enjoy hearing.
If I had added "We Built This City" to the pool, how drastically does it change the result?
ReplyDeleteKokomo, by a landslide. One of the few songs ill turn off faster than Pearl Jam. Worse than Starship, Biz Markie, Mambo No. 5, and Red Red Wine.
ReplyDeleteSantana, because I don't expect any better from the Beach Boys. Kokomo sounds as lame as any other of theirs.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite Santana duet would be the John Lee Hooker song, THE HEALER (1989).
I also like Sweet Freedom as a song. And there's the part where you can freeze frame Michael McDonald spitting out his words.
ReplyDeletePushed Kokomo further down the list. Possibly Santana as well.
ReplyDeleteI hate "Smooth" with a passion unmatched in most other parts of my life. It is a song that will wake me up when it comes on the radio because I have to TURNITOFFTURNITOFFNOW. My clock alarm is set to the "Adult Contemporary/Top 40" station and they still LOVE "Smooth." I swear they play it at least once a day. They hardly ever play "Kokomo." When I'm in the shower, and "Smooth" comes on the shower radio, I will flail around naked, wet, and blind until I MAKE IT STOP.
ReplyDeleteI also ding "Smooth" because it paved the way for the abominable earworm that is Santana's collaboration with Michelle Branch - "The Game of Love." If I were to whisper "A little bit of this, a little bit of that" - now you hate me too, don't you?
Of course, I would hope that heaven has a soundtrack of only these two songs if it means I never have to hear "We Built this City" ever again.
(A few months back I made a Spotify playlist called "Soundtrack to My Own Personal Hell" - all songs that would make my afterlife grim indeed. The two Santana songs and the Starship song are on it, but not Kokomo. Soundtrack to My Personal Hell)
"Maria, Maria" is worse than "Smooth." It's toothless as either hip hop or rock.
ReplyDeleteI can't link to your personal hell (soundtrack) and I'd like to....
ReplyDeleteSorry about the bad link, try this:
ReplyDeletehttp://open.spotify.com/user/wattsay/playlist/2MoVPW4oK6ZUuGIOUlwOhq