PLUNGE FOR DISTANCE, DENIED:  Following up from our June 2015 post, IOC sportocrats have added for the 2020 Tokyo Summer Games the sports of skateboarding, surfing, "climbing," karate, and baseball/softball. (Squash, bowling, and wushu: denied.)

I renew my request that the modern pentathlon be reformed to include the five disciplines essential to Back to the Future: skateboarding, running, boxing, guitar-playing, and auto racing.

THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE:  It's apparently National Watermelon Day.  Which pop cultural watermelon is more important:  the one Baby carried or "watermelon to the face?"

REACTIVATE THE UNNECESSARY REBOOTS BOT:  Steven Bochco wants to reboot L.A. Law.  With Good Wife having ended, there's not a good network show set in a law firm (as opposed to a DA's office) running, and Suits is about it on the cable side, and I think there's potential here--kick it off with McKenzie dying (a la Chaney's death in the original pilot), and Brackman finding it uncomfortable as the firm's central figure.

REMEMBER THE SUSSUDIO:  Spotted in San Antonio:

Our prior Phil Collins/Alamo coverage.

ACTIVATE THE UNNECESSARY REMAKES BOT!  Splash, but gender-swapped with Channing Tatum as the mermaid and Jillian Bell as the human

THESE ARE PEOPLES LIVES!  Immediately add Leslie Jones to the list of people who should appear on Match Game (and any other game show**, really) whenever they want.  That was just batshit crazy and it kept deteriorating wonderfully all night now.

Also, Justin Long, Bellamy Young, and Al Yankovic are perfectly cromulent Pyramid players.  Well done, ABC.

** Look, I'm still not sure if Match Game is a game show, or a comedy show in game format. Work with me here.

HAIL TO THE CHIEF, HE'S THE ONE WE ALL SAY "HAIL" TO:  The WSJ ranks 44 fictional Presidents based on their accomplishments, and as usual Jed Bartlet is too high because you don't lie about a debilitating illness, assassinate a foreign leader, or trade away a Supreme Court seat just because you're convinced the court was at its best when Brady was fighting Ashland.

Underrated: Fitz.  Unlisted: Jack Stanton. What a handshake.