ARE YOU A BATTLEMENT? I never thought we'd see a team on the Race as dumb as Lori and Bolo, but we may well be on our way.
Season-openers of The Amazing Race tend to be a bit of a blur -- it's hard telling apart all the teams who insist they're going to be misunderestimated, even those who insist their compass skills will set them apart. I did notice The Nassoons, whose Princetonian propriety twice stalled them due to an unnecessary inclination to assist other teams in peril. I noticed that yet again that there are teams who enter the Race without mastering manual transmission. I noticed Phil Keoghan's hairline has receded.
But most notably, I noticed that the producer structured this leg remarkably well -- a realistic set of driving challenges and two in-race challenges reliant on balance and smarts, not strength. As far as the Express Pass is concerned, I'm intrigued but want to know more: (1) how late in the Race can it be used? (2) can it be traded? (3) will other passes be available, either when after first one is used or after every leg?
Oh, yeah. There was this thing with a watermelon. It's still gasp-worthy. It may well have caused a concussion. I'm glad she got an icepack, but hope there was a doctor involved as well. Meanwhile, our Race is back.
(N.B. I know of only one pop/rock song to use the word "battlement" in its lyrics.)
Fienberg gives us permission to pray with sinners: "Here's the thing you have to know: If the watermelon had somehow knocked Claire cold or broken her nose or dislodged her teeth or caused any sort of permanent or temporary damage -- God forbid, y'all -- CBS would not have made The Watermelon Incident into the centerpiece of the premiere's promotion. CBS' promotion spoiled the surprise of The Watermelon Incident, but in spoiling the surprise, it took an event that might have been too shocking to process within the context of a fun reality show and gave us permission to enjoy it, to some degree. We also wouldn't have been treated to at least five or six replays of the Watermelon Incident, replayed with a near Zapruder-ian glee: Back and to the left. Back and to the left. Back and to the left. See the way Brook runs over and has to pick up the bits of watermelon brain matter from Claire's shirt? OH THE HUMANITY!"
