ARE YOU A BATTLEMENT? I never thought we'd see a team on the Race as dumb as Lori and Bolo, but we may well be on our way.
Season-openers of The Amazing Race tend to be a bit of a blur -- it's hard telling apart all the teams who insist they're going to be misunderestimated, even those who insist their compass skills will set them apart. I did notice The Nassoons, whose Princetonian propriety twice stalled them due to an unnecessary inclination to assist other teams in peril. I noticed that yet again that there are teams who enter the Race without mastering manual transmission. I noticed Phil Keoghan's hairline has receded.
But most notably, I noticed that the producer structured this leg remarkably well -- a realistic set of driving challenges and two in-race challenges reliant on balance and smarts, not strength. As far as the Express Pass is concerned, I'm intrigued but want to know more: (1) how late in the Race can it be used? (2) can it be traded? (3) will other passes be available, either when after first one is used or after every leg?
Oh, yeah. There was this thing with a watermelon. It's still gasp-worthy. It may well have caused a concussion. I'm glad she got an icepack, but hope there was a doctor involved as well. Meanwhile, our Race is back.
(N.B. I know of only one pop/rock song to use the word "battlement" in its lyrics.)
Fienberg gives us permission to pray with sinners: "Here's the thing you have to know: If the watermelon had somehow knocked Claire cold or broken her nose or dislodged her teeth or caused any sort of permanent or temporary damage -- God forbid, y'all -- CBS would not have made The Watermelon Incident into the centerpiece of the premiere's promotion. CBS' promotion spoiled the surprise of The Watermelon Incident, but in spoiling the surprise, it took an event that might have been too shocking to process within the context of a fun reality show and gave us permission to enjoy it, to some degree. We also wouldn't have been treated to at least five or six replays of the Watermelon Incident, replayed with a near Zapruder-ian glee: Back and to the left. Back and to the left. Back and to the left. See the way Brook runs over and has to pick up the bits of watermelon brain matter from Claire's shirt? OH THE HUMANITY!"
I believe that Phil said that the Express Pass could be used up until the end of the eighth leg. Also, Chad is a tool.
ReplyDeleteWhat Heather P. said. Both parts.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of race leg construction, I liked how it moved from "look kids, Big Ben! Parliament!" to "Are we doing Stonehenge tonight?" to "Have fun storming the castle!" to "back and to the left, back and to the left."
I love a nice bit of Yom Kippur humor, Mr. Bonin...
ReplyDeleteYeah, I heard 8th leg too.
ReplyDeleteI don't know who's who yet but I know it's a bad sign when a guy is flipping out at his new girlfriend and, in the first leg, she warns him of how miserable they're going to be if he acts like that. I kind of miss the 2-year prior knowledge requirement.
I found the shopping network team very nice to each other post-fruiting. Claire said what do we do, and Brook pretty kindly said, we have to go on and then seemed to be comparatively quiet and didn't seem to rush Claire at all.
ReplyDeleteBut yes, Meghan, dude and his girlfriend (despite his comments about being humbled by the idea that he was not innately good at everything) seem in for a long road.
Anytime a team references in the introduction how bossy the guy is and "maybe, sometimes, the woman is right," worry.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I wish they had let the teams which had completed the leg participate in the slop-dumping on the remaining contestants.
So was anyone else uncomfortable while the all-minority teams were trying to climb the ladder and "angry" white folks were dumping slop on them and yelling things like "we don't want you!"?
ReplyDeleteNot nearly as bad as on The Season We Don't Talk About when the African-American family was named The Black Family and was eliminated first.
ReplyDeleteI did like the close-up shops of the angry folks. (But why was the rabble defending a castle?)
I still can't get over the watermelon incident. It has me grinning like an idiot all day at work and trying to explain to my coworkers that it is indeed AWESOME and not AWFUL.
ReplyDeleteSeriously the remembrance of it is redeeming my Monday.
Have any of you seen Hot Tub Time Machine? If not, stop reading, but if you have, waiting for the watermelon to hit was like waiting for the bellhop's arm to get torn off. I kept leaning forward in excitement, only to be severely disappointed when the fruit would fly in the correct direction. Good point by Fienberg, per usual.
ReplyDeleteOh, and after this weekend's game, it's nice to see the Notre Dame guy win the leg (and what a gentleman!) while the Stanford grad went home.
Team Home Shopping with their over-giddiness in the car reminded me of the Screeching Godlewski Sisters from the Season We Don't Talk About as well.
ReplyDeleteAs an opening leg, it really was one of the best. The boat challenge was great, too, since it was coordination and patience, not strength that got you through it.
ReplyDeleteAnd "I've never heard of Stonehenge before this"? Wow, that's a level of ignorance that's tough to fathom. But in all events, Heathrow to Amesbury is a pretty straight shot (Google Directions: 72 mi); Stonehenge to Eastnor (59.1)
How about being in the "country of London"?
ReplyDeleteVicki's Stonehenge comment came just a beat after I had turned to my wife and said, "I can't believe no one has taken this opportunity for a Spinal Tap reference." After Vicki's admission, I have lowered my expectations re: the median level of 1980s pop cultural knowledge among this season's racers accordingly.
ReplyDeleteHow long do we think Team Ease on Down the Road was driving in the wrong direction(s), given the distances involved? And why in the world would you not take advantage of the fact that this leg is in the English-speaking country commonly known as ENGLAND to stop, repeatedly if necessary, and ask for directions?
Phil's beat there was well executed.
ReplyDeleteIf TWOP hadn't gone defunct years ago, I'd go to the message boards there and find the poster who knew England well enough to determine how lost they were with their compass.
ReplyDeleteI agree, Adam. Or hire a taxi to for ten pounds to get you to the right motorway. I didn't do much driving in Southern England, but most English motorways have road side rest stops with some sort of combination of petrol station and fast food -- usually on both sides or with an obvious flyover. It is *NOT* hard to stop for help. And it's also not hard to roll down the flipping window and ask.
ReplyDelete(Am specifically liking the HTTM mention - underrated movie, I think!)
ReplyDeleteThe fact that none of the lost and loster teams enlisted a taxi makes me wonder if maybe they changed the rules to forbid that.
ReplyDeleteThese were pretty big distances -- over an hour on each -- and they only had $100 for this leg. When the goal is not-finishing-last and you're in an English-speaking country, it's a waste.
ReplyDeleteI agree it would be silly to waste the money when all you have to do is ask someone who speaks the exact same language you do, probably impeccably. That said, (a) how do you pass up the opportunity for a cabbie to address you as "Guv'nor?" and (b) they wouldn't need the taxi to take them all the way -- just far enough to get them heading in the right direction.
ReplyDeleteDo the teams keep leftover cash from leg-to-leg?
ReplyDeleteAnd I meant just hire a cab to follow out to the motorway, not to follow for an hour+
ReplyDeleteYes. That's always been part of the strategy, since the last leg or next to last leg typically gives you $0 to start with. That said, they do have a one-time "emergency" fund they can tap in the hands of their camera crew if they go broke. I'm a bit puzzled by why every team didn't buy a map at Logan.
ReplyDeleteFeinberg is completely right - it's awesome because she seems to be fine. That could have been very, very, very bad - that was a heavy watermelon and it snapped back very fast (and, of course, completely unexpectedly). Though it was too fast to tell, it seems to have caught her square in the face - you couldn't plan that direct a hit.
ReplyDeleteThank goodness she's ok, and I was very impressed by her ability to get back up and finish the task, as well as Brook's ability to cheer her on and praise her. I also loved Team Volleyball's reaction - girl can play!
The bad part is that they BOUGHT A HOUSE together. And he's planning on proposing to her. Halfway through the episode, we were yelling at her to turn him down and sell her half of the house, quick.
ReplyDeleteTony, of the eliminated team, was the founder of Stanford's Everyday People a cappella group - wish they'd stayed in long enough to sing with Team Glee.
ReplyDeleteAlso, Ron is reminding me hugely of someone, I think a TV star from the 70s or 80s or possibly 90s - driving me crazy as I can almost see it!
I loved that the teams had to take those little boats - those are coracles, the same kind of boat Reepicheep had in Voyage of the Dawn Treader.
Was Ron the smaller guy? Cause if so, then he reminded us of Sugar Ray Leonard.
ReplyDeleteYes. I think he was reminding me of Tim Meadows in his Colbert persona.
ReplyDeleteI was picturing the casting call for the rabble, and what it specified about teeth.
ReplyDeleteNo, there was someone else too - can't remember who.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I think it said "British, willing to dress in rags, must have good teeth." (It's all relative, innit?)
ReplyDeleteFound it! Ty Henderson, who played Michael in "The Competition" (Richard Dreyfuss/Amy Irving piano movie of my youth), which I watched recently. Also apparently played Paul in "Space Academy," whatever that is, and now I need to see it.
ReplyDelete